Is this considered neglect or abuse?
Posted on Apr 06, 2010 under Time Share Resales |
I am the step mom of a 4 year old girl. Her mom, grandma, and mom’s current boyfriend all live together with the kids. The mom has locks on the outside of the kids room. They get to come out for 3 meals a day. Her brother is 6 or 7 years old. I think this is wrong, but is it abuse? The boyfriend is number 3 that has lived with them just in her 4 short years. The mom had sex with the current boyfriend in the living room while her husband still lived with them.He came out and caught them so they split up. Now I’m the kids doors were locked so they probably didnt see what happened. I know you can not base someones sexual history on their ability to be a mother. They do not bathe daily "It is a waste of water". The little boy is sent to school dirty, and with holey clothes. At one point the school called CPS because he told them he has to share a room with the 4 year old and they dont get to take a bath. After this the mom got evicted from their current house and moved. She decided the boy would be "home Schooled". He was out of school from sept-dec until his dad raised enough of a stink she enrolled him back in. The dad use to buy school clothes for the boy and send them home with him but the mom sold them to a resale shop. There are also rumors that the mom smokes pot and the new boyfriend is questionable. The treatment of these children makes me sick to my stomache and I want to slap her across the face every time I have to lay eyes on the mom. But, is this considered abuse or neglect?
Yes, it is abusive to lock your children in a room all day and only let them out for food. It is neglect to not bath your children regularly or give them a proper education or ensure that they have good medical care, etc. So, yes, it is both abuse and neglect.
Now, what to do about it. Ideally, your husband would sue for custody of his child, citing the mother’s abuse and neglect. If he refuses to step in, then you, as a concerned adult who sees the situation, should contact CPS. If you believe the mother would restrict his access to your stepdaughter, you can make an anonymous report. If your husband is willing, he can report what he knows as well and if you as a couple are willing and able, you can let CPS know that you are willing to care for the boy as well.
CPS may not be able to do anything the first time. That’s fine. Call everytime you hear or see something concerning. They have to keep a record of every report, and if they know you aren’t going to be quiet and go away, they’ll have to give these kids the attention they deserve. But please don’t be silent, because what she is doing, even if it doesn’t physical harm them in ways you can see, will eat at them and harm them emotionally in hundreds of tiny, irreparable ways.
April 6th, 2010 at 7:14 pm
I THINK IT IS ABUSE NO ONE SHOULD HAVE A LOCK ON THE OPPISID SIDE OF THERE DOOR WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPEND WHILE THERE DOOR WAS LOCKED U NEED TO GET THOES KIDS OUT OF THERE AND REACH DOWN IN THERE HEART AND SEE HOW THEY FILL.
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April 6th, 2010 at 7:43 pm
Definite abuse. Report them to the police and see what they have to say concerning this matter. Do it ASAP. The children’s welfare is more important here than any other issue.
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April 6th, 2010 at 8:15 pm
:O yes that is abuse, if i where you, before i do anything, i’d have a talk with them. if you dont want to call the cops, tell them whats going on and they can help i hope!, or take them to live with you. thats sick and wrong, those poor kids, i know i cant give much advice but i hope i helped and i hope they get into better care! have a good day, and i hope you get some good advice!
have a good day.
GOOD LUCK, or more GREAT luck
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sorry i cant give much advice but i hope you get some more!
April 6th, 2010 at 8:41 pm
Its both, and if you sit behind and watch this, your partly to blame, thats how the courts will see it.Best thing for you to do, which I know is hard, is getting envolved in these childrens lives.Call CPS, explain to them whats going on, and you want to be anonomyous.Good luck with that Hun!
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April 6th, 2010 at 8:46 pm
Yes, it is abusive to lock your children in a room all day and only let them out for food. It is neglect to not bath your children regularly or give them a proper education or ensure that they have good medical care, etc. So, yes, it is both abuse and neglect.
Now, what to do about it. Ideally, your husband would sue for custody of his child, citing the mother’s abuse and neglect. If he refuses to step in, then you, as a concerned adult who sees the situation, should contact CPS. If you believe the mother would restrict his access to your stepdaughter, you can make an anonymous report. If your husband is willing, he can report what he knows as well and if you as a couple are willing and able, you can let CPS know that you are willing to care for the boy as well.
CPS may not be able to do anything the first time. That’s fine. Call everytime you hear or see something concerning. They have to keep a record of every report, and if they know you aren’t going to be quiet and go away, they’ll have to give these kids the attention they deserve. But please don’t be silent, because what she is doing, even if it doesn’t physical harm them in ways you can see, will eat at them and harm them emotionally in hundreds of tiny, irreparable ways.
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April 6th, 2010 at 9:02 pm
omg…this i messed up. i feel for you , i really do. This mom is a ******************************************************************************************************************************i cannot even imagine such a thing. This is abuse. She should be taken to jail with a lock on the outside. She sould not be allowed a bath. SHe is a ********** . IYou have to do somethingabout this. call the police or like anoynomus tips on crime or sumthing. ThIS IS JUST PLAIN WRONG. once the chlidren are 18 tell then to run away to you. i cannot stand greedy people like this "mom" She doesn not deserve the title "mom" she deserves "overseer" or " Master" i just really want you to do something about this . Please do something about this, plz you will be saving the children….plzzzzz help them
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April 6th, 2010 at 9:41 pm
Locking a child in his/her bedroom for hours on end is neglect. Call CPS and explain everything. Are the children being fed healthy, nourishing food? Are their medical needs being met?
Keep notes and document everything. These poor children need help and you sound loving enough to step up to the plate.
BTW, my husband’s ex would also sell the things we bought for his child. She had garage sales about once a month and sold things as "new". She was always well dressed, manicured and had her hair cut/colored by a professional once a month. Nice mom, no?
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April 6th, 2010 at 9:52 pm
These poor kids! I feel for them.U really need to report these people,like now!Before something worse happens.That mother is going to rot in HELL!
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April 6th, 2010 at 10:30 pm
Wow. I think it’s both. Isn’t it unreal what some mothers are capable of? How some people defend them?
I’m a step mom. My step kids’ mom is something else. My husband tells me that are there more stories than I know of stuff she has done. What I know is bad enough. She’s immature and very selfish. A therapist told her that she was the problem and she quit b/c everyone is picking on her. I just laugh - yes - everyone else is the problem. Whatever. Idiot. If I can avoid talking to her then I will b/c she’s a real manipulator. She’s such a user. She’s so phoney. I can’t stand it. I’m not going to be all like agreeable and pleasant just to appease her. I won’t dumb myself down. I usually say very little.
I don’t know what you can do though.
My cousin lived with her dad who made her eat meals in her bedroom. Later, she can only see him if she makes an appointment first. Her mom wasn’t much better. My mom couldn’t do anything about it. My grandmother couldn’t do anything about it. My grandmother did intervene with my mom’s other sister who was abusing her son. She and her husband both abused him - tied him to a chair, etc. She did get DSS involved. (Dept of Social Services) They lost custody. I was very young when that all happened.
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